Fortune Cookies
by JestaAriadne
Summary: See the sensitive side of George Weasley... and the stupid side of Ron. Learn the deeper meaning of a biscuit!


A/N & Disclaimer: Don't own Harry Potter... hmm. 

Oh - we're in jolly old England here, biscuit is basically a cookie, just to make it clear to our US readership. Thank you, do read on.

Fortune Cookies

By Norbert & Jesta

George Weasley was in many ways a very extraordinary boy. Some would consider him just a double of his twin, Fred. 

In many ways... they would be right... but in other ways they would be probably be wrong. Whatever.

George Weasley was an extraordinary boy and this is his story.

~*~

"Amordemonstratus!" whispered Fred, his wand pointing rather suspiciously in George's direction. A small pink heart blossomed out of the wand and came to rest over George's head. Fred cackled quietly and sat back in his armchair to enjoy the show.

The common room was starting to fill up now; Fred and George having arrived half an hour early due a slight mishap in their last class involving Spellotape, Snape's robes and a sign saying: "Minnie, I am yours." Angelina Johnson, Katie Bell and Alicia Spinnet jumped through the portrait hole and strode over to where the twins sat.

At that moment, George created a slight diversion (ala Neville) when little pink hearts erupted from his forehead, floated over to Alicia, and began to sing:

"_You are all I need to get me through,_

Like a falling star I fell for you..."

George seemed the only one who was completely unaware of this development; the others all burst out laughing.

"What?" asked George, somewhat confused...

"Can't you see - " began Katie, in hysterics, before Fred shut her up with a none-too-subtle "SSSSHHH!!!"

"What??" asked George again, but they were too busy laughing to answer.

Eventually, Fred put his brother out of his misery, and muttered "Deletrius" at the pink floating hearts.

George sighed, still confused.

Even more eventually, someone explained the situation fully, pointing out exactly where the pink hearts had chosen to float.

George suddenly realised why this was.. He loved Alicia. He always had. But he didn't know what to do about it. Presents were supposed to be a good start. Flowers were usually well received. Teddy bears. Chocolate.

Unfortunately, none of these were to hand. The only thing George could give was...

"Hey... Alicia...?" began George, shyly. (!?)

"Yeah?"

"Um... D'you want a biscuit?'

Alicia seemed, for some reason, a little hesitant. "George... what have you done to it?"

"Nothing!"

"I'm not stupid! Why on earth would you be offering me a biscuit if you hadn't done anything to it??"

Fred decided to help out. He strolled up to Alicia and stage-whispered confidentially: "It's an old Weasley tradition. We always offer biscuits to the ones we love. Oh hey, Angelina, want a biscuit?"

Angelina shrugged and took a chocolate biscuit off the plate. Alicia took one too, but said mock-sternly, "This doesn't mean anything, you know."

Yeah, right.

Ron immediately grabbed the nearest available biscuit.

"Hermione...?" he began.

Hermione frowned severely. "NO. A _LITTLE _more subtlety next time?" She strode out of the room.

Harry leant towards the disappointed Ron.

"No, you can't have it, Harry!!" Ron yelled in shock. "I mean, I'm sorry if you thought-"

"No no," said Harry hastily, "I was going to say that it... probably shouldn't be a trick biscuit either."

Ron despondantly crushed the canary cream in his hand and watched the dust fall to the floor. "Oh," he said sadly.

~*~

It was five minutes before the big game: Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw, and the school was going crazy. George was beginning to wonder if he personally was too. The new, visible even to him, pink hearts were troubling him as they burst from his head and and hovered over certain and many members of the public. (Fred had thought that since Alicia and George were now an established couple, it had been getting rather boring.) As they stood outside the changing room, he found he was having more and more difficulty explaining them away.

"OK..." he started, "Alicia... well, that's obvious. I love you with all my-"

"AHEM!" interuptted Alicia, "What about HER?" She pointed an accusing finger at Hermione who was blushing furiously under a cloud of small pink hearts.

"Erm... Hermione... I love you like a a sister! Yeah, that's it." He turned to Harry, also rosily adorned, "Harry? OK... you too... well, more like a brother actually. And... Hedwig... you're...very nice... MALFOY?? Um... I'll come back to you later..." He looked around. "Professor McGonagall?? Well, only because I... respect you so much... I'll leave anything else to our dear Potions Professor."

There were shrieks of laughter. George bowed and then cowered under the forceful glare. "Please! No!" he cried dramatically, "I can't play Quidditch as a frog!"

Unfortunately, it seemed they couldn't play Quidditch anyway. George was so busy defending Alicia from the bludgers that not only were the other two Chasers both knocked from their brooms, but Alicia was prevented from getting anywhere near the goal. Harry, meanwhile, was so involved in admiring a particularly good dive of Cho's that he failed to notice that she had caught the Snitch.

They lost 220-0.

~*~

"Cheer up, Harry," said Ron, back in the common room, "Here have a biscuit."

Hermione burst into tears.

"Aah! No!!" said Ron, realizing and snatching the biscuit out of Harry's hand and shoving a pile of crumbs into Hermione's. Several crumbs hit Ron's face as Hermione stormed out again.

Harry shook his head in disbelief. "Is that all she ever does??" he asked, as Ron picked crumbs out of his hair.

"It must be the biscuits!" Ron said after a few minutes of contemplation. "She must not like these ones!" Then, after a few more minutes, "I know!" Then, after a few more minutes: "Harry... can I borrow Hedwig...?"

~*~

A few days later:

__

Dear Ron,

I am sorry to hear that Hogwarts has been snowed in completely - in the middle of May too! - and that you are all starving. I hope that these cookies can sustain you for now,

Lots of love,

Mum

PS. I really do think this is an atrocious state of events and I shall be writing to the school governers.

"Oh dear..." said Harry, reading over Ron's shoulder.

Ron just shrugged and opened the box of chocolate chips reverently.

"Thanks, Weasley," drawled Draco Malfoy, helping himself to a cookie.

"Nooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Ron, then took a deep breath and then: "Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!" then another deep breath and then-

"Ron, are you OK?" asked Hermione. Then her eyes filled with tears as she noticed Malfoy holding the BISCUIT. "How COULD you??" she shrieked as she stormed out of the Great Hall. Again.

Harry leant over and patted Ron consolingly on the shoulder.

"Cheer up, Ron. You win some, you lose some. And we know Draco likes you, anyway."

This didn't seem to comfort Ron.

~*~

__

In case you haven't noticed, this is no longer solely George's story. The world is full of many extraordinary people and this is their story too.

Do read on. 

~*~

__

"What am I supposed to do?" asked Ron, pounding the table desperately.

"Um," said Harry.

"Er," said Neville.

"We know," said Fred and George in unison.

"It won't be easy," said Fred.

"And it might be dangerous," said George.

"Well, it won't," said Fred, "but-"

"Get to the point," said Ron.

"OK, OK," said George, somewhat offended. "What you need to do"

~*~

"Hermione" said Ron.

"If this is about a biscuit-"

"No, no. I was wondering if you'd like to go for a walk in the Forbidden Forest."

Hermione raised her eyebrows.

"You were?"

"Yeah. Would you?"

"Um, no," said Hermione.

"Please?!"

"No."

"Pleeeease?"

"OK, then." Hermione looked resigned.

And so, they set off for the Forbidden Forest. Just as they reached it -

"Do you hear that strange rustling?" asked Ron.

"No," said Hermione.

"Can't you hear it?? The RUSTLING?" asked Ron, rather more pointedly.

"Oh!" said a voice behind a bush and a very loud rustling began abruptly.

"Oh no!" cried Ron, "Maybe it's a Dementor!!"

Hermione looked at him strangely. "Um, why would-"

At that moment, a large black cloaked figure fell out of the bush.

"Whoo!" it said, waving its four arms wildly. "Whooo!!"

"Quick, have some chocolate, Hermione!" yelled Ron, brandishing a bourbon in her face.

"That's a BISCUIT, Ron."

"It's a CHOCOLATE biscuit! Eat it!!"

"Whoo!!!" said the Dementor, starting to wobble. Then its top half fell off. "Ow, Harry you landed on me!!" said one half. "Shut up, Neville!" said the other half.

Ron started making cutthroat gestures and tried to say "Nooo!" surreptitiously. Unfortunately, it sounded like he was mooing and Hermione looked a little worried.

The Dementor crawled away. 

Ron stopped mooing.

Hermione was still holding the biscuit at arm's length. She looked ready to run away again.

"No!" said Ron, grabbing her around the waist. "Hermione, I'm not letting you go until you eat this biscuit!"

Hermione was shaking with laughter. "Ron" she mananged between giggles, "you got Neville and Harry to dress up as a Dementor just to get me to eat a biscuit??"

Some distance away, someone said: "Hey, how'd you know it was me and Harry?"

The voices started to fade.

"Come ON, Neville!"

"But WHY?"

"This is a romantic moment!"

"Oh"

"That is so sweet!!!" cried Hermione, who was now literally in fact crying. "Ron I can I have a biscuit?" 

~*~

Back at the Gryffindor tower that night, Harry was looking at his pillow in puzzlement.

"Ron," he said, "Why on earth is there a brown splodge on my bed?"

Ron looked at it with an expert's eye. "It looks like a dead chocolate biscuit," he concluded.

There was a gasp from the doorway, and Ginny stumbled in. "I'm so sorry, Harry!" she wailed. She stopped and looked around, taking in the fact that everyone was staring at her, "I mean I don't know who could have done it! But I'm very sorry it had to happen to you! And I'm sure whoever did it didn't mean to!"

She looked around once more. "Um" she quavered. "Bye, Harry!" she cried and ran from the room.

Harry blinked slowly. "OK," he said. 

~*~

The next morning, Ron found himself summoned to the Headmaster's study.

"Mr Weasley," said Dumbledore, folding a letter on his desk, "A question for you: What snowstorm?"

THE END

__

By Norbert for President and JestaAriadne.

__


End file.
